Saturday, November 5, 2011

Top Ten Things for Pre-Teen Girls to Remember

As a mother, I wanted to ensure that my daughters were issued the proper armor to shield themselves from negative media input that seeks to program their hearts, minds and bodies into believing they are not enough.  This false belief system impregnates their souls with the parasitic notion that they should settle for less than their divine destiny.  Birthed from this illusion is a stunted growth of spirit, manifested in failed relationships, self-destructive behavior, lack of faith and distrust in God as a loving God. 

Words are a powerful mechanism that can either build up or tear down such programming.  I wrote these affirmations for my daughters, and for the young girls at Metanoia who tell me stories - personal accounts of how they are losing themselves to ill-constructed skeletal frameworks that trap and limit their expansive potential as women.

1. You are beautiful....

God don’t make ugly. The devil is a liar - and he is terrified of who you really are. You are most beautiful when you look and act like who God made you to be, not what the TV, magazines, videos and movies say are or you should be. Beauty is as beauty does. Don’t be ugly.


2. You are intelligent...


Our minds are for thinking things through, not worrying ourselves into pits of despair. You are able to solve problems, big or small. Asking for help doesn’t mean you can’t do it yourself, it means you’re smart enough to know that two sound minds are greater than one. Just make sure the help you ask for is coming from someone who shows s/he has a pattern of successfully managing his/her own problems. Consider the size of your problem: if it’s small, let it fall. If it’s big, give it to Him. You are greater than your circumstance. Your circumstance is temporary. You are eternal.


3. You have power...


Don’t give it away. Offering your most precious gifts to the ungodly is like feeding a roach. It won’t appreciate it (it’ll eat anything,) and it won’t ever be satisfied with what you give. It will take, take, take and give nothing in return. Worse, it’ll bring it’s friends.


4. You have a choice...


Just because you can’t see your options, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. If you can’t see clearly, change your position for a better perspective. Pray for clarity. Patience. Patience. Patience. Soon you’ll see a new choice materialize.



5. No matter how bad it feels, it will come together for good...


Making a choice based on how you feel without thinking things through can create more problems than it solves. Hard edges become softer with time. How much time it takes depends on how hard-headed you are about learning the lesson from whatever is happening. Everything works out for the best in the end, and if not - it's not the end!


6. You are responsible for your own happiness...


You can’t control when trouble comes, (and it will come - Jesus promised). The only thing you can control is how you respond to it. Don’t let anyone or any situation steal your joy. Don't kill your own joy by focusing on what's not working in your world. Attend to the things that are working and practice an attitude of gratitude. Things start to change for the better when you do.

7. Seek God first, everything else is secondary....


Don’t waste time thinking, worrying, wondering, talking, fussing, arguing about people or things - (boys, movies, a song, a situation, your clothes, your appearance, what you have or don’t have, etc.) If you do this more than you think, pray, meditate, wonder, talk with God, love, you are worshipping that person or thing. God’s commandment states “Thou shall have no other gods before me.” Set your priorities. Keep’em straight.


8.There is always more to learn...


God uses our circumstances, both good and bad, to teach us something we need to know for the life ahead of us. If we don’t learn it in the present challenge, He’ll allow another trial to happen to give us another chance to learn. And even after we learn it, He’ll create yet another difficulty to test our remembrance, or to practice what we think we know. In truth, the more we learn, the less we know.


9. Trust your gut...


This is different from acting on your feelings. Emotions can be cluttered, contradictory, chaotic and confusing. God is not the author of confusion. God gave us a deeper feeling or “sense,” one that we don’t feel emotionally; it’s called instinct or intuition. Intuition is clear and certain, best heard when we are still, humble and quiet.


10. Whatever you do, do it with love and for God’s glory...


Be honest with yourself. Follow clear, pure motives. Doing things to please others, to earn money or status, for your boyfriend or for our own pride and glory can be satisfying, but in time, that pleasure will become less gratifying. It’s like drinking a pepsi when you’re really thirsty. It tastes good at first, and for a moment your thirst is quenched, but it won’t be long before you’re thirsty again. The only thing that will help is clear, pure water. Test each option for clarity and purity. What are you doing and why? The two most common reasons why people don’t reach the wonderfully divine heights God has planned is because of fear and laziness. Acting out of fear feeds fear. Acting with love casts out fear, and when we act with the intention of pleasing God, we work harder, perform better, and create a greater glory than we could ever imagine.





Sunday, October 30, 2011

Meditation Minute: A Woman's Word


Planning a big slumber party for seven 5th and 6th grade girls in the program. The objective is simple: prepare the soil for good growth. I anticipate high voltage energy bouncing off my living room walls. I expect giggles late into the night. In between pizza, popcorn, and root beer, we'll lift the veil to reveal the role of media and culture in defining a woman's role, deforming her body, degenerating her value, and demonizing her liberation. Okay, maybe we won't talk about all of that, but we'll certainly get the ground ready for ongoing conversations.

I hope to create a safe place for these 11 and 12 year olds to talk about what is influencing their daily lives, good and bad. I'd like to offer some words of wisdom from other women who can't be present. Prayer warriors, battle scarred and triumphant, renegades who have found freedom within the suffocating veil. The best gifts we can give these young ladies are our stories of how we make the conscious choice to live beautifully in a broken and dysfunctional world. Women, (and men who are sensitive to the concerns of women,) post your words/wit/lessons learned in the comments box below.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

So, it's my birthday. I read somewhere that celebrating one's birthday is a most selfish act. After all, it's the mother who puts in all the work during birth; we don't even contribute to the labor that goes into our conception. It's what we do while living that's worth celebrating, or not. So this year, I'm asking friends and family to celebrate my 40 plus 1 years by giving to someone else. I've chosen TrafficJam this year; learn more by visiting my birthday campaign at this website. And thanks for your birthday wishes, your love through the years and your heartfelt prayers!


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Resurrecting Ophelia

My morning reading these days is Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher, PhD. It was written in 1995 and was a New York Times Bestseller. I'm only in the second chapter and I have to admit my Christ-filled heart drains with each paragraph, and the love is replaced with searing hatred! The truth of what's written on these pages is stirring up the angry adolescent girl in me, and I'm feeling the need to cut somebody! Maybe I need to move this reading to a different time in my day; I will require time to shift into a new mood before entering the world.



Ophelia doesn't just need to be revived, she needs to be brought back to life! She is assassinated daily these days and will not respond to CPR. I knew being a girl was a challenge as a teenager - mine was especially tumultuous for reasons not described in Pipher's book. Her book is "An eye-opening look at the everyday dangers of being young and female..." And that was over 15 years ago! Please pray, today and every day, for the young girls in our world. If you have a girl child, read this book. As you read, quadruple the cultural battering Pipher describes to make it true to our current society. My question in response to what I've read thus far: What it will be like by the time my little girl is a young adolescent? (--------------------------------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) No words, just me screaming.....